You Know You're a Mom When.....

It's my second Mother's Day and have I learned a lot since last year......Last Mother's Day I was two months into Motherhood still in the "honeymoon" phase.  Not this year! :) 

First, I want to thank my Mom for the INFINITE amount of patience she had for me and my sister when we were kids.  Also, for her guidance and support.  Mom, I'm sorry I drove you crazy as a kid but be comforted with the fact that I'm soooo getting my payback now.   Which is exactly what she told me would happen when I had kids.  I think this may be part of the reason my sister avoids any conversation of ever having kids because she knows what her payback will look like....hee hee hee! :)

Here are some examples of what I put my Mom through when I was around the age as my kids:

When I was in 1st grade and the school would call her EVERYDAY because EVERYDAY I would go to the office with a stomach ache.....I didn't have stomach aches everyday, I was just jealous that my Mom was at home with my baby sister and I was stuck in school.  She would come to school everyday and bring me lunch and sit with me until one day she decided enough was enough and when they called her about my stomach ache she told them to let me stay in the office.  :(

Or how about the time I almost burnt the house down because it was a cold NY winter night and I thought it would be a good idea to warm up my PJs on the heater (PJs in the 70s were not as fire retardant as today's)....ooopphhh...I remember that spanking!! 

Or maybe the time I almost ate dog poop.......we had a little chihuahua (her name was Cindy) and she would poop perfect little round Milk Dud looking poop.  I had them in my hand one day and my Mom swooped in and smacked them right out of my hand.  Thank God!!!

Ok.  Now you know way too much, let's move on to what I face as my daily payback with my children.  Here is my list of  "You Know You're a Mom When".....

You Know You're a Mom When.....

- The saying, "I always have to wipe someone's butt" is now your reality.....

- The cute handbags you used to carry have now been replaced by some Mary Poppins type looking bag.  Mine has food, drinks, toys, underwear (my kid's not mine),band aids, tissues full of boogers and I think there may even be a small family of ferrets living in there...  :)

- My monthly shoe buying therapy trips consisted of cute open toe heels, now it's light up sneakers with Velcro.....

- You can't go to the bathroom without someone asking, "What are you doing, Mom?  Can I see?"....ugh!

- You use your shirt sleeve to wipe someone's nose.  Or if there is something crusty on their face you put some spit on your finger and wipe it off. 

- You become the family "pack mule".  I can carry lunchboxes, backpacks, homework, my Mary Poppins size handbag and my work bag along with the garbage out in the morning....

- When you get to work, you feel like you have already worked a full day.

- You shower with an audience.....my two Lil clowns like to look through the glass shower door while pointing and giggling.  Quite a self esteem boost that is..... :-/

- You can make breakfast, lunch and dinner before 8am.

- This one might be boy specific....You have to deal with their fascination of farts and poop.   Disgusting!  Just today Jordan wanted me to come to the bathroom because there was a  "brown snake" in the toilet.  Oh boy!!!

- You read them a book at night and skip sentences or pages.... I know this only works now, once they learn how to read I'm screwed!

- You do laundry and somewhere between the washer and dryer socks go missing.....how the heck does that happen????

And finally, "You know you're a Mom when......you're kids come up to you and tell you they love you unsolicited and sincere which in that instant makes all the world's craziness disappear!




This is my absolute favorite picture! Special thanks to our photographer Heidi at Blueberry Freckles Photography who added the perfect quote to the perfect photo! Love it!!!

Happy Mother's Day!!! God bless all the Moms, expectant Moms, Step Moms, Grand moms!!  


Gotcha Day- 1st Anniversary

It's hard to believe that a year ago today we were taking this picture at the Tikuret Orphanage, it was the last day the boys would spend there.....

Fast forward to 2/10/12- a year later.  It seems like it was so long ago and like it was yesterday all at the same time.  We have grown as parents in this last year and the kids, well they have just grown and they have changed so much from those two little guys we brought home. 

Holding the very first referral picture we recv'd of them in July 2010

We have good days and bad days (or combination platter days- mornings are BAD and it gets better as the day goes on).  My nickname is the Drill Sergeant because you will typically hear me saying something like, "Eat your breakfast..... Time to put on clothes....Did everyone go potty?....Shoes on!.... Brush Teeth!....Now, let's Go Go Go!!!!   Even Jordan now repeats, "Go Go Go"!!!

We have seen our boy's personalities develop and boy did I have them pegged wrong!  When we met them in ET I made the following conclusions; Jayson was going to be the stubborn one, the joker, the one that would be disciplined a lot.  Jordan was going to be the shy, quiet, angelic one.....UMMMM  WRONG!!!

Jayson is my people pleaser, sensitive guy, the listener.  He's always saying, "Yes, Mommy.  OK, Mommy."  If he gets in trouble or disciplined he is hard on himself and typically starts to cry.   He is sensitive and in tune to others feelings and helps his little bro although the majority of the time that ends up in a shouting match on whether Jordan is a "baby" or not.....Because according to Jordan, "He NOT a baby, Jayson!" :) 

 

Then there's Jordan, oh my Jordan.  Maybe my nickname for him "The Devil Wears Carters" gives you an idea of what he is like?  Jordan is stubborn, thinks he can do everything by himself, is sneaky and mischievous (you should hear his laugh), reminds me of Tigger- the kid bounces everywhere he goes and will tell you that he is not doing something to your face with a smile.  He is a hot mess most of the time (totally takes after Jim) ;)  But he is also quite the little love bug, he will work his way into your heart with a ton of hugs and kisses...





These two little boys have been the biggest blessing that we could have ever hoped for, never in a million years did I imagine the joy and love that they bring us and our families.  And as we look ahead to many more years of happiness, struggles and whatever life throws our way we thank their birth mother for the gift of life, their birth country which welcomed us with open arms and God for bringing us together and making all things possible. 

Happy 1st Gotcha-versary Jayson, Jordan and Jim!   Love, Mommy

And Happy 16th Wedding Anniversary, Jim!  So much to celebrate in February!! 

2011- A Year to Remember...





Good Bye 2011!  Hello 2012!

To be Honest, I'm kind of sad that 2011 is over.  It has been a wonderful and very blessed year for us.  Here's a look back......

January= Frustration-  This was a tough month.  We had celebrated the holidays without the kids and were waiting to hear about going back to Ethiopia to get the boys after being there on November 2010.  All the other families that had the same court date as us already had their kiddos home or were on the way.  We were STILL waiting.  At the end of January we had had enough and Jim went to ET to be with the boys. 

February=LOVE-  On February 10th we not only celebrated our 15th Wedding Anniversary but also the day that our adoption was finalized and officially had our boys.  How 'bout that for an anniversary present?  :) 

Jayson also celebrated his 4th Birthday on February 25th.

 

March= Parents-  We were home with the kids and the reality of being parents to a 4 year old and almost 3 year old set in real fast.....I think there were a few days in March when I forgot to brush my teeth and/ or take a shower!  Can we say...overwhelmed!  There were good days, bad days and OH GOD HELP US DAYS!!!

April= Easter- Jordy and Jay's first experience with the Easter Bunny and Easter Egg hunt.  They were not impressed.....they kept asking why the Easter Bunny made a mess? 





 

1st Easter Bunny Picture

May= Reality- After being on family leave for 12 weeks, it was time to go back to work.  The reality of being a working Mom set in fast.  And so did the guilt....Does the guilt ever go away? 

My realization is that I can be a Mom, an employee and a wife.  I just can't be good at them all at the same time.  So, when I'm being a good Mom...I may be a bad employee.  And when I'm a good employee, I'm probably not a great Mom or wife.  Key learning here is BALANCE!



Jordan also celebrated his 3rd Birthday on May 3rd.

June= Summertime- It's all about "Swim-in-ing" as Jayson says.  :)







July= Old- I turned 40 and that's all I'm saying about that......

August= Back to School- Jay and Jordy had been in pre-school since May but in August they "graduated to the next class".  Jayson is in pre-K and Jordan is in Jay's old classroom (the 3 yr old class) which Jay now calls the "baby" class, of course since it's his little bro's class now. 

September= Potty Training-  ONE WORD.....NIGHTMARE!

October= Fun- The kids had a great time on Halloween.  A rough start at first but when they figured out all you had to do was walk up to a house and say "Trick or Treat" and you got candy......it was all over.  We also celebrated Jim's 43rd birthday on Halloween.  There was candy and birthday cake!!

 



November= Thankful-  Our first Thanksgiving with the boys and our families.  So much to be thankful for this year!  

December= Joy- Joy totally describes the feeling of Christmas through the eyes of children.  The excitement, anticipation and fun of Christmas morning brings out the kid in all of us. 

Happy New Year!  Wishing you health, peace and joy in 2012!



One year Meet-cha-versary

One year ago today, we walked into the Orphanage director's office at Tikuret and met our boys for the first time......

The 16 month paper pregnancy was finally over and instead of looking at pictures and seeing short video clips that our Case Manager had sent over to us for the past 5 months we were about to see our kids in person for the first time!!!!!

I remember the day that feels like it was so long ago...we were in Ethiopia at the guest house getting ready that morning to be picked up.  The nerves had settled in and we were both a wreck.....I kept telling Jim, "What if they don't like us?  We should be prepared for them to look at us and run the other way crying and screaming.  Thinking to themselves, who are these two crazy people that want to hug and kiss on me..calling themselves Mommy and Daddy."

Of course, I was prepared with bribes (coloring books, crayons, balls) to make us seem more appealing, just in case!  :)

As we got into the CWA van there were two other families there with the same case of nerves we had.  (Happy Meet-cha-versary to you guys too!!)  When we arrived at Tikuret we were escorted into the sitting area and told to wait there until they gathered the children.    Sister Asayech comes out of her office and asks, "Who are the parents for Addisu and Altesa Assefa?"  I think I said we are and jumped out of my seat before she could even finish the sentence.....

What happened next........here's the video of the first time we met which many of you have already seen.

It was amazing and from that instant on there was a bond.   You can even tell from the video who is the Momma's boy and who is Daddy's boy.  Jay is more like Mommy.  :)  And Jordan- hmmmm......stubborn, has selective hearing, talks to much, can't sit still and pouts if he doesn't get his way......Yup, that's just like Daddy!!!!  :)

I can't believe how much they have grown from this video a year ago....unbelievable!

Happy Meet-cha-versary Daddy, Jayson Addisu and Jordan Altesa! 
Love you, Mommy

Potty Training NIGHTMARES.....

You know how they say that God only gives you as much as you can handle......I now know why out of my 2 boys, we only have to potty train one of them.......Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph this is a nightmare!!!!

We are currently going on a month of Potty Training..... When I tell you that we have tried everything, I'm not kidding:

1.  We took the Pull Ups away- cold turkey.  Jordan woke up one morning and they were gone.  No more I told him, no more he said.  This was the beginning of the end!  :(

2.  We went to Target and bought him big boy underwear.  Well, I have been to Target every week since then to buy more.  My local Target will see a Year On Year sales increase in their boys underwear department thanks to Jordan's accidents.....ugh!

3.  I told him not to go potty on his character themed underwear.  Jordan, "Don't go pee or kha kha on Spiderman's face, Spiderman will cry."  Poor Spiderman, Mater, Lighting McQueen, Thomas the Train, Yo Gabba Gabba they have all had their share of accidents. 

4.  We came up with a "poop" song!  He sings it but it has meant nothing.....

5.  I resorted to bribes.  We have a "treasure chest" that he can go in and get a prize after going potty.  That lasted one whole day.....

6.  I resorted to bigger bribes.....Tonka trucks, Monster Trucks, things from the Cars movie. 

7.  I downloaded a potty book for $37.  It told me to be patient, persistent and consistent.....gee, thanks for the brilliant insight. }:-(

8.  He has walked around naked.....the other day he ate his breakfast sitting on a plastic bag in the nude.  Jim walked by and told me that if the Health Department came by we would be fined for being un-sanitary!  Whatever!!!!!!

I thought I was getting the brunt of the accidents but the best was one day when I pulled up in the driveway after work and a pair of Jordan's pants and underwear were out there......puzzled.... I went to pick them up and Jim comes flying out the garage door, "Don't touch those", he says.  He literally put on a haz mat suit to throw them away!  OY VEH! 

This weekend was full on Potty Training Boot Camp, take no prisoners!!!  Only one mishap, we cleaned up Lake Pee-Erie in the living room earlier today.  I See the Light!!!!   :)



It's Official.......

It's official......my boys are Ethiopian Florida Rednecks!!!  :)

This past Saturday we took them to the MONSTER TRUCK SHOOTOUT in Brooksville, FL..  They love all kinds of trucks....so you can imagine their reaction when they saw these trucks up close in person.  This was more exciting than the visit from the Garbage Truck every Saturday morning!  :)

While I'm having a bit of trouble hearing today...... I did hear them when they asked if they could go see the trucks again tonight?  I'm in soooo much trouble....Mommy is very much a Girly Girl and these two are ALL BOY.   Oh well......Getting my ear plugs ready for Monster Jam in Tampa, January 2012.  :)  



Jayson is mesmerized by the Monster Trucks....



Jordan is mesmerized with headphones that are the size of his head!

USA, USA, USA!!!

What happens to our parents when they become grandparents.....

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string - handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren.  ~Author Unknown

On Saturday while having lunch with my Mom and Sister, we asked my Mom...."Why is it that now that she is an Abuela (Grandma in espanol) all of the rules that we had when we were kids don't apply to her grandsons?"  It's as if she and my Dad have lost their minds now that they have grand kids......

My sister and I have awesome childhood memories and now that I have my own kids I appreciate it even more.  I have also learned to appreciate the rules that my Mom and Dad had in place and how strict they were especially my Dad, all he had to do was say our names and we knew we were in trouble  (heck, I'm 40 years old and still would never attempt to sass back to my Dad)......being raised by my strict Catholic/ Puerto Rican parents made me who I am today.  :)

Which is why it baffles me at what my kiddos are allowed to get away with......although I should have known this would happen.....it started as early as the difference between me and my sister who definitely got away with a lot more than I did.  Then we have the example of my Mom and her "Grand dogs"......she would (and still does for my dog) stop at a fast food place to buy her "Grand dog" fries.  When my Cocker Spaniel Mickey was alive we could only get him fries from Chick Fil A or Steak & Shake because McDonalds and Wendys was just too greasy and would upset his stomach (I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP). 

Here are some of the areas where my parents have completely lost it.......

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.  ~Ogden Nash

The Furniture:  When I was a kid, I was constantly reminded that you do not put your shoes on the couch, you do not stand on the couch and you definitely don't eat on the couch!   Shoot, there was one whole room that my sister and I were not allowed in...the living room was for company and grown ups only. We were always summoned to the family room!  The grand kids... are now allowed to stand on the couch, put their feet on the couch, take the pillows and throw them and even eat and drink on the couch!!!!  WHAT THE HECK.....instead I have turned into my parents and at home I am teaching them not to do all those things!!!

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.  ~Gene Perret

Dinner & Dessert:  When I was a kid, there would be no dessert if you didn't eat dinner.  And if you didn't like what was made for dinner well that was just tough!  "What do you think, you have a restaurant here", my Mom would say.  The grand kids.... not only is the threat of not getting dessert if you don't eat dinner null & void but now my Mother's kitchen looks like the buffet at the Golden Corral!  There are options to chose from and if she hasn't cooked it she will just for the grand kids.  I will come pick them up after their weekly "Friday dinner at Abuela's" and she's like, "Oh yeah, the kids ate pasta and Spanish rice and plantains and chicken and veggies and they asked me for french fries so I made them some".......WHAT THE HECK.....I get the leftovers offered to me to be re-heated in the microwave.   Which then brings me to the subject of dessert and people we are not talking a brownie for dessert.....there are more dessert options than at your local Dairy Queen!  And let me tell you what happened a couple weeks ago with Abuela and Abuelo's inability to "Just Say No" when the kids ask for more than one dessert.....WARNING!  THE STORY AIN'T PRETTY!  It was one of their "Fiesta Friday's" and I went to pick the boys up after work.  As usual my Mom gives me a report of what they ate/ didn't eat for dinner.  She then informs me that she didn't know how much Jordan LOVES ice cream.......he loved it so much that he ate an ice cream sandwich and then saw my Dad get out the ice cream cones and make himself one so they made one for Jordan too but after finishing the first cone, he wanted more so they let him have another one.....3 SERVINGS OF ICE CREAM (an ice cream sandwich and 2 cones for a 3 year old)....at that point I told my Mom that I didn't think that was a good idea and I was surprised he didn't get sick.  As we were walking out the door she also tells me that she put him on the potty and he didn't want his PULL UP back on so she left it off of him (CAN YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS?).........No worries I say, our car ride is literally only 10 minutes.  Well about 3 minutes from the house I started to wonder why it smells like there was a new sewage processing plant opened close to our neighborhood......but there was no sewage plant, Oh no, it was an ice cream explosion in the back seat of my car!  Yes folks, it smelled like I was riding in the Rooto Rooter truck.  If it wasn't because child protective services would have been called I would have hosed Jordan off in the driveway!  Instead I stripped him down in the driveway and hosed him off in the shower.....I also tore that car seat out of my car so fast and hosed it down with Pine sol, my neighbors must think I'm nuts!   When I told my parents what happened....my Mom blamed my Dad and my Dad blamed my Mom.  Nice huh!!!

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy.  ~Sam Levenson

Discipline:  When I was a kid, uh huh....everyone thinks my Mom is so nice!  Well let me tell you what, when we were kids she had one big can of  Puerto Rican Whoop A** and she would use it when she needed too.  I remember back one cold winter evening when we lived in Far Rockaway, NY.....I thought it was a good idea to take and put my Holly Hobbie pajamas on the heater to warm them up......not so smart!  I almost burned the house down (no flame retardant pj's back in the 70s).  That night I got the biggest spanking ever.....I think if I look close enough my Mom's hand print might still be engraved on my booty!  :)  The grand kids.....NONE!!!  My Mom uses me as the threat!  "You don't want me to tell Mommy, do you?"  WHAT!!

I don't intentionally spoil my grand kids.  It's just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.  ~Gene Perret

Toys/ Gifts:  When I was a kid, if I wanted something.....I would have to wait for my birthday or Christmas there was none of these "anytime gifts".  Now, my sister on the other hand was a little bit more spoiled (she's the baby of course)!  It was probably 1980 and my sister LOVED the Muppet Show.....well one day she decided that she needed a Miss Piggy doll....and she was really good about bugging the heck out of my parents until she got what she wanted.  My Dad sets off to find Miss Piggy and goes all over Queens and Long Island, NY to try to find her.....finally my sister gets her Miss Piggy.  My poor Dad would have probably found Miss Piggy sooner if he wouldn't have gone to every store asking for...(insert Spanish accent here) Mrs Pig!  The grand kids....there is some weekly gadget or trinket they get.  And every Friday there is a new DVD for them to watch at Abuela's.

Grandchildren:  the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS.  ~Gene Perret

Money & Allowance:  When I was a kid, I had to do my chores in order to get an allowance and there was no yearly increase to cover inflation either.  The grand kids....every Friday they leave my Mom and Dad's house with money in their pockets.  Jordan knows the word money very well!  So well, that if we go out to eat and pay the bill with cash he screams out money and grabs for it to put in his pocket!  At the rate they're going getting money from my parents every week they will be able to buy brand new Lexus's when they turn 16.  ;)

"You're more trouble than the children are" is the greatest compliment a grandparent can receive.  ~Gene Perret

All jokes aside though, I love seeing a side of my parents that I had not seen before.  They are so in love with their two grandsons....its a beautiful thing! 

Much love to all Grandparents!!!

On the seventh day God rested.  His grandchildren must have been out of town.  ~Gene Perret